*Note*: Of course feminism is not responsible for EVERYTHING wrong with marriage and society today. I am writing under the assumption that people who read this are fair minded individuals that respect opinions even if they disagree with them. This is how I see it. If you have a different opinion, thats fine with me, I have no problem with it.
If you talk to any sociologist, they will all agree that feminism is responsible for breaking up the traditional, stable family. Whether or not this was for the benefit of women is up for debate. I would argue that destroying families is worse than the grievances of women at the time.
Back then, there were virtually no divorces. Today, divorces are the norm. Statistically, women are the ones who initiate the divorce most of the time.
Back then, there was less of a chance that a woman would cheat. Women were faithful and gave themselves to their husbands. They actually could cook, unlike now days. I've never met a girl who could cook. So back then it made sense because women would actually stay with them.
Many feminists claim that they do allow men to pay for them on dates. Well, while most women who identify as feminist benefit from the equality and specific laws protecting women, they have not given up the custom that men should pay for them. So they keep the benefits of feminism, but don’t give up what is necessary for them to become truly equal.
There is less of a reason for a man to do all these things for women. Think about the dating process:
1. The man must approach the woman who he has never met. This takes courage and confidence. He must be completely over himself and willing to lower his value and self-esteem. Right off the bat, he is in the L column.
2. He must say the right things, and be interesting enough for her to give him the number. She could just use him for free drinks, who knows. If he is good enough to her pleasing, he may get the number.
(So far, she has contributed absolutely nothing. Standing there looking pretty does not count. And he must do the most in terms of contributing to the conversation, such as figuring out topics to talk about and what-not. She certainly is not going to do anything that would make her seem too interested. She will only help the conversation along, so she can further judge the man.)
3. He must call at the perfect time. If he calls to early, she'll think he's a stalker and tell all her friends that he is a "creepy" stalker weirdo.
(So far, she still has contributed nothing)
4. The date. He drives her around in his car, on his dime. He pays for movie tickets. He pays for dinner. All the while, he must be on his A game and say the right things. He can't be too boring and can't be too aggressive.
(She has contributed nothing. A stuck up, selfish woman might say something like "Well just my presence alone is enough." This is how some women think, I have heard them say it myself)
5. Sex, or a kiss. After all he did, he is still expected to initiate the kiss or sex. Of course, he must do this at the right time for HER and to HER liking. Its all about HER pleasure. If its sex, he is expected to have protection with him.
(This is where she finally contributes something. She sleeps with him. But does this mean she has actually matched what he sacrificed? No. In fact, this doesn't even count, because sex benefits both men and women. So she still hasn't done any independent thing on her part to contribute to this relationship. He has done over and above anything she did. At this point, the best she possibly did was help the conversation along or maybe help keep the talk interesting, throughout the date. That is still little in comparison to what he has done.)
What has the woman done through all of this? Look nice? That’s it. She may contribute to the conversation, but he is expected to lead the talk and do everything else.
So the whole dating system is rigged top to bottom and the advantage is almost all women, from the very start.
This is why feminists should shut up. This is why they are radicals. If you are a feminist in America today, you are selfish and ungrateful.
I try all the time to rationalize this. I try to figure out where men get their share of the pie. I try to see where women actually contribute something meaningful to the relationship. But the more I analyze it, the more I come to the same conclusion: the entire mating scene is rigged. Perhaps, as I've said above, back then it was worth it. Women didn't cheat or leave their husbands. Women cooked and cleaned and actually raised the children. But today, I have yet to meet a woman my age that could cook. Feminists have demonized housework. So basically, women have kept all the benefits of the sacrifices men had to make in order to be with them, and thrown away all of the contributions that they once had to do.
This is why feminism is bad for our society. I do not hate women or wish them harm. But I'll be damned if I have to bow down to this matriarchal society that beats down the male and wants to feminize everything.
17 comments:
This one fails at the first sentence.
You REALLY have been knocked back one too many times haven't you.
Do you want a hug?
Did your mum repeatedly kick you in the balls a a child?
On your advice i DID talk to a sociologist. Imagine my surprise when he insisted you were an incredibly ignorant cunt who secretly hates himself even more than he hates women.
Reading your blog is like watching a car crash in slow motion. I hope you had originally wanted to call it I-am-clearly-a-failure-in-life-and-here-are-my-pathetic-attempts-to-bitterly-blame-women-for-my-shortcomings.blogspot.com, but were unable to secure such a long subdomain.
It's clear from your writing that your experiences with women are informed largely by your utter selfishness and almost sociopathic inability to connect with other people.
The anger that reasonable people feel when reading your drivel is mitigated by amusement at the personal failures it hints at. Hooray to all the women who have spurned you.
dude... really...
*shakes head*
not all women are feminist, or even the more militant feminist that you seem to have confused the image with off of Fox news or something.
Women & Men always cheated, not all women-who-toe-the-line have magical cooking powers. Not all women expect you to pay for dates; ever tried ASKING ONE THEIR OPINION like a HUMAN BEING? I'm tempted to suggest that the answer would be 'no', given that you'd have to come out from up your arse for long enough to actually go on a date, rather than bitterly shunning the outside world in favour of an evening in, crying to your favourite porno...
The reason divorce is more prevalent is that less women get the shit beaten out of them behind closed doors for raising their discontent, and that there is no longer as much stigma attached to being an independant woman. Would you seriously suggest we re-introduce prevalent domestic violence & remove priveledges (nay basic human rights) such as the right to vote or even voice your own opinion, simply on the grounds of whether someone has a cock?
It's a shame you have to blame women for your own failings, and not only blame them but make them an object for barely-reasoned vitriol.
My only hope is that when you're old enough to have some real perspective you'll look back and be embarrassed by what you've written.
As someone who has studied sociology I can assure you that while the rise of feminism may have had a small affect on changing what you see as the traditional family structure but this family structure was a relatively new development. A move from rural life to the cities during the industrial revolution meant that work came to mean work done outside of the home for a wage whereas before this move work could mean any activity that benefited a person or their family’s lives inside or outside of the home. With the introduction of the factories act in the late 18th centenary many factories were deemed unsafe for women and children to work in and the family structure you see as traditional was born. Wage labour became seen as man’s work and house work became seen as woman’s work.
This family structure didn’t last that long as the two world wars reduced the numbers of able bodied men available on the home front which resulted in women going back to work on farms and in factories so as to keep the country running. After the second world war things seemed to regress back to their pre-war state but since as early as the 1920s the phrase “sexual revolution” had been used to describe the increasingly liberal attitudes of young people towards sexual activity and relationships. There are many reasons why people’s attitudes towards sex changed and why the sexual revolution really kicked off in the 60’s and 70’s including the influence of Sigmund Freud’s writings on sexuality, the introduction of widely available contraception (a product of our early friend the industrial revolution), a change in racial attitudes which increased interracial relationships, liberalisation of abortion, liberalisation of homosexuality, liberalisation of the divorce laws and of course your favourite feminism.
The point I am trying to make is that you can not simplify these arguments and blame everything on feminism, which you also clearly misunderstand. If you want to write about something it’s best to research the issue and make you mind up based on evidence and not to rant about it based on your own sexual frustration. I am assuming from your writing style and the contents of your blog that you are relatively young, possibly even just post-puberty and are therefore probably eager to experience a sexual connection with a woman. This will happen but your lack of luck so far has nothing to do with women and even less to do with feminism, it has to do with your attitude and mistrust of women. You also misunderstand the basic reason for dating, it is to get to know someone and hopefully develop a relationship with them. Your post rants about women in such a way that it’s glaringly obvious that you are intimidated by women and unable to stand up for yourself while at the same time clearly desperate to get laid. I suggest chilling out and stop blaming women for your own short comings.
If this sounds patronising I apologies but it’s very hard to write anything about your blog entries without being patronising as they are incredibly immature.
Thanks for your comments and opinions everyone!
I see what you're trying to do. I am not bothered. I am a woman btw. I think that you're playing the devils advocate a bit here. It realy is a sin to challenge feminism in this politically correct world. I think people need to put aside their egos and really try to asses these claims in a more rational manner. Not all women are feminists, true, but the feminist machine is the one that directs what women want and where they should go from a politically correct and legal stand point. I'm not saying that it's a bad thing but sure we do need to question it like everything else. I myself have many issues with feminism and it's direction. True egalitarians would not adhere to this title.
Thanks for your colourful views. I know how hard it is to say these things in a more milder form, you get met with criticism and blind hatred either way. May as well just go all out and ramp it up with a few lines that really piss people off, you know what I'm talking about. ;)
e.g. women should have babies and breast feeding rules! mwuahahaha
Krish, thank you for being fair-minded and not a knee-jerk lunatic. I am not overstating anything, I am not simply playing devils advocate. These are my views on feminism in relation to the dating scene. But you are right in saying that it is not socially acceptable to say these things, no matter how true they may be. I am not scared to tell the truth how I see it. I thank you again for being objective and not a close minded person. The country needs more people like you who can think for themselves and look at things fairly
It IS hard to express these views (as much as I might disagree). That previous point is true!
Yet, I'd also say that you spout much ideology and you don't back it up. I'm not asking for science -- nor experience -- but you say a lot of things and don't actually understand the discourses with which you engage. You take for granted so many things (roles / institutions etc) in what you say. I don't mean this in an offensive way, but back to school with these ideas. Read some of the theory that underlies "feminism." And more than anything...it isn't so much about the women...it's the anxiety of men (which you have seemingly fallen prey to in your own mind). If you really wanted to unhinge feminism you'd be well served to understand from the exact points it emerged. That is clearly lacking here.
I offer this not as a vitriolic comment (coming from a PhD student who works on gender) but rather asking you to step it up if you want to have a place at the table. If FOX just spew and regurgitates BITS of the discourse I'd rather not listen. I'm open to hearing why people are ANTI-FEMINIST (or whatever battle you choose to fight) but at least know the history.
Best.
I don't know what specific inaccuracy you are talking about. I know for a fact that most sociologists agree that feminism affected teh institution of marriage in a negative fashion. It broke up families, created more singles, and promoted single motherhood, which is partially responsible for the deviancy of children these days. Feminism started off fine. I have no issue with female suffrage and what-not. My argument is that it has gone to far. We have become a feminized country and you have feminism to thank for that, as well as liberalism and political correctness
Many of the comments here focus primarily on your general misunderstanding of feminism, which I am 100% in agreement with. And, like most of the people who have commented, I agree that clearly your own personal issues revolving around women and relationships are being generalized to the overall population.
I find it quite sad that you don't know one woman who can cook, or clean, or who is confident and self assured enough to not only approach a man, initiate and maintain conversation, who has never gone dutch or even treated a man to a meal or a movie, and who has never initiated either a kiss or sex. Clearly, you are meeting and surrounding yourself with women of a lower quality, because there are many of us out there.
And, for you to even suggest that women prefer to divorce and to raise children solo sounds not only ignorant but ridiculous. With the amount of dead beat dads, men who deny paternity or refuse to take responsibility for their children, who run out on their wives or run around on them until she can't take it anymore...not to mention women who get the fuck outta there because they don't have to stick around and get the shit kicked out of them anymore...EVEN if you could come up with actual examples of women who are raising their children solo and prefer to raise their children solo, I'm pretty sure that the overwhelming majority will be solo for one of the other reasons.
In any case, stop trying to pick up women in bars and clubs - they're uninterested in talking to you and you have to make that huge effort because they didn't come out to find a man, they came out to hang out with their friends and have a good time..you're guy number 56 who has tried to get her number today, and she's not particularly in the mood. It's the equivalent of a woman trying to get a man interested in her while he's watching the big game...she'd have to pull out all the stops to get his attention for any amount of time because thats not where his focus is.
(ps...the comments are all absolutely appropriate and brilliant...I wish more of them weren't anonymous...I would like to shake some of their hands)
I agree with your account in it's entirety- and the only way I could agree is if we were both recounting visible, and authentic accounts. It would seem unlikely for so many men who don't know anythying of eachother to report the exact same experience on this issue. Don't let these clowns get to you.
However I do disagree with your conclusions and disposition. 'It is what it is'. -- Gravity pulls us down at 9.81 m/s2. ... It is what it is. You gonna revolt against gravity? -- Our society recognizes women as infantile and that they should be void of social responsibility; all the while deciding to afford women *equal* rights to appease their whines and complaints (as a parent conceding to their rotten child). As such, you as a man, and as an individual are afforded with a general guideline of behavior actions/reactions of which you can determine how you will fit into this society as per how you act in accordance with society's predetermined roles. You understand what it takes to be successful, you also understand the ramifications of not doing what is required. I for example could give a **** about a bachelor's degree, but apparently the majority of the people with the social power think otherwise. So I have decided it to be in my best interest to play to their wishes **UNTIL** I amass enough clout to be able to make my own rules.
Don't be a fool. You know that dating and any social dynamic is as scientific as any other study. You reap the reward of whatever 'part' you choose to play in the overall social scheme. You act like a loser with no charisma, no self-esteem, no social value, with a chip on his shoulder-- then you'll get the reaction that a 'loser with no charisma, no self-esteem...' is appropiated. It's not personal. There's nothing personal about, so someone should never get personally offended, as that only puts them at another psychological advantage.
ladies i used to date this guy! damn,ive heard this before. lol- he got his money back after the relationship was over so...
I stumbled upon your blog from one of your Youtube comments, and I'm really trying to be open-minded in reading your blog posts. For this post, I agree that feminism has been used by some females as a political vehicle for their own benefit. But there are many points that I don't agree with. Since I took the time to read your post with an open mind, I hope you would do the same for my comment.
1) "They actually could cook, unlike now days. I've never met a girl who could cook."
I'd argue that a lot of women still cook these days. Yes, there has been a boost in the pre-packaged, pre-prepared food industry due to women having less time away from their outside jobs, but the majority of women I know can and are proud of cooking. I myself moved to work in a foreign country half a globe away when I was 21 and started cooking for myself since.
2) "Many feminists claim that they do allow men to pay for them on dates. Well, while most women who identify as feminist benefit from the equality and specific laws protecting women, they have not given up the custom that men should pay for them."
In such situations, I've always felt obligated to go Dutch or treat a guy friend next time. Only one of my friends (in a circle of maybe fifty) likes to rely on the guy paying for her. I guess you've just been hanging around the wrong crowd. But even so, paying for a woman should always be your choice, and not a forced obligation that you complain about later on.
3) "3. He must call at the perfect time. If he calls to early, she'll think he's a stalker and tell all her friends that he is a "creepy" stalker weirdo."
Just call when it feels natural to you. Some girls like guys who call soon after a date; some don't. If one girl doesn't like it, it just means you two weren't meant to be.
4) "4. The date. He drives her around in his car, on his dime. He pays for movie tickets. He pays for dinner. All the while, he must be on his A game and say the right things. He can't be too boring and can't be too aggressive."
Girls like guys who are genuine. If you have to plot out the date to stroke her ego and get into her pants, she'll smell you from miles away. Say good things only if you mean them, if you crave to establish a meaningful and mutually nurturing relationship with someone. Don't pretend to be interested for your own sexual desires, then have the woman find out and reject you, then decide on hating an entire population.
Anyway, society is changing. Women are entering the workforce by demand, so more and more housework must be taken on by both sexes. Blaming just feminism for this shift in social structure is overly simplistic and immature, so I hope you can look more into the issue and adjust your opinion accordingly. I am worried that with your current mindset, it is inevitable that you'll only face more rejection, disappointment and frustration in the future.
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