Monday, August 12, 2013

Article: "Date a Boy That Travels"



I recently came across an article from the Huffington Post, "Date a Boy That Travels", written by Lena Desmond. And as I read it, the piece reminded me all too much of the women of my past that I have come across or dated. Particualrly my ex-girlfriend, whom is somewhat like Desmond in her unrealistic standards and fantasies of what men are supposed to be. Read the article below:
Date a boy who travels. Date a boy who treasures experience over toys, a hand-woven bracelet over a Rolex. Date the boy who scoffs when he hears the words, "vacation," "all-inclusive" or "resort." Date a boy who travels because he's not blinded by a single goal but enlivened by many. You might find him in an airport or at a book store browsing the travel guides -- although he "only uses them for reference." You'll know it's him because when you peek at his computer screen his background will be a scenic splendor of rolling hills, mountains or prayer flags. His Facebook friend count will be over-the-roof and his wall will be plastered with the broken English 'miss-you' of friends he met along the way. When he travels he makes lifelong friends in an hour. And although contact with these friends is sporadic and may be far-between his bonds are unmessable and if he wanted he could couch surf the world... again.

Buy him a beer. Maybe the same brand that he wears on the singlet under his plaid shirt, unable to truly let go. Once a traveller gets home people rarely listen to his stories. So listen to him. Allow him to paint a picture that brings you into his world. He might talk fast and miss small details because he's so excited to be heard. Bask in his enthusiasm. Want it for yourself. He'll squeak like an excited toddler when his latest issue of National Geographic arrives in the mail. Then he'll grow quiet, engrossed, until he finishes his analysis of every photo, every adventure. In his mind he'll insert himself in these pictures. He'll pass the issue on to you and grill you about your dreams and competitively ask about the craziest thing you've ever done. Tell him. And know that he'll probably win. And if by chance you win, know that his next lot in life will be to out do you. But then he'll say, "Maybe we can do it together."

Date the boy who talks of distant places and whose hands have explored the stone relics of ancient civilizations and whose mind has imagined those hands carving, chiseling, painting the wonders of the world. And when he talks it's as if he's reliving it with you. You can almost hear his heart racing. You can almost feel the adrenaline ramped up by the moment. You feel it passing through his synapsis, a feast to his eyes entering through those tiny oracles of experience that we call pupils, digesting rapidly through his veins, manifesting into his nervous system, transforming and altering his worldview like a reverse trauma and finally passing but forever changing the colors of his sight. (Unless he's Karl Pilkington.) You will want this too.

Date a boy who's lived out of a backpack because he lives happily with less. A boy who's travelled has seen poverty and dined with those who live in small shanties with no running water, and yet welcome strangers with greater hospitality than the rich. And because he's seen this he's seen how a life without luxury can mean a life fueled by relationships and family rather than a life that fuels fancy cars and ego. He's experienced different ways of being, respects alternative religions and he looks at the world with the eyes of a five-year-old, curious and hungry. Your dad will be happy too because he's good with money and knows how to budget.

This boy relishes home; the comfort of a duvet, the safety stirred in a mom-cooked meal, the easy conversation of childhood friends and the immaculate glory of the flush-toilet. Although fiercely independent, he has had time to reflect on himself and his relationships. Despite his wanderlust he knows and appreciates his ties to home. He has had a chance to miss and be missed. Because of this he also knows a thing or two about goodbyes. He knows the overwhelming uncertainty of leaving the comforts of home, the indefinite see-you-laters at the departure gates and yet he fearlessly goes into the unknown because he knows the feeling of return. And that the I've-missed-you-hug is the best type of hug in the whole world. He also knows that goodbyes are just prolonged see-you-laters and that 'hello' is only as far away as the nearest internet cafe.

Don't hold onto this boy. Let this boy go and go with him. If you haven't travelled, he will open your eyes to a world beyond the news and popular perception. He will open your dreams to possibility and reality. He will calm your nerves when you're about to miss a flight or when your rental blows a flat because he knows the journey is the adventure. He will make light of the unsavory noises you make when you -- and you will -- get food poisoning. He will make you laugh through the discomfort all while dabbing your forehead with a cold cloth and nursing you with bottled water. He will make you feel like you're home.

When you see something beautiful he will hold your hand in silence, in awe the history of where his feet stand and the fact that you're with him.

He will live in every moment with you because this is how he lives his life. He understands that happiness is no more than a string of moments that displace neutrality and he is determined to tie as many of these strings together as he can. He also understands your need to live for yourself and that you have a bucket list of your own. Understand his. Understand that your goals may at some points differ but that independence is the cornerstone of a healthy relationship when it's mutually respected. You may lose him for a bit but he will always come home bearing a new story and a souvenir he picked up because it reminded him of you, like it was made for you and because he missed you. You might be compelled to do the same. Make sure that independence is on your bucket list and make sure it's checked. Independence will keep your relationship fresh and exciting and when you're together again it will forge a bond of unbreakable trust.

He'll propose when you've breached your comfort-zone, whether it is a fear like skydiving or swimming with sharks or sitting next to the smelly person on an overcrowded bus. It won't be with a diamond ring but with a token from a native culture or inspired by nature, like the penguin and the pebble. You will get married somewhere unassumed, surrounded by a select few in a moment constructed to celebrate venturing into the unknown together again. Marry the boy who's travelled and together you will make the whole world your home. Your honeymoon will not be forgotten to a buffet dinner and all-you-can-drink beach bars, but will be remembered in the triumphant photographs at the top of Kilimanjaro and memorialized in the rewarding ache of muscles at the end of a long days hike. When you're ready you will have children that have the names of the characters you met on your journeys, the foreign names of people who dug a special place in your heart if only for a few days. Perhaps you will live in another country and your children will learn of language and customs that open their minds from the very start, leaving no room for prejudice. He will introduce them to the life of Hemingway, the journey of Santiago, and empower them to live even bigger than both of you.

Marry a boy who travels and he'll teach your children the beauty of a single stone, the history of the Incas and he will instill in them the bravery of possibility. He will explain to them that masking opportunity there is fear. He will teach them to concur it. And when you're old you'll sit with your grandchildren pouring over your photo albums and chest of worldly treasures while they too insert themselves into your photographs, sparked by the beauty of the world and inspired by your life in it.

Find a boy who travels because you deserve a life of adventure and possibility. You deserve to live light and embrace simplicity. You deserve to look at life through the eyes of youth and with your arms wide open. Because this is where you will find joy. And better, you will find joy together. And if you can't find him, travel. Go. Embrace it. Explore the world for yourself because dreams are the stuff reality is made from.


This attitude is all-too-common among American women. Placing unrealistic expectations upon men, based on nothing more than their brainwashed influences from the media. The point about Facebook friends is quite striking. A man must have a friends list that rivals a celebrity to be considered worthy in her eyes--- because her man must be universal, appealing to many different forms of life around the world. She has fallen in love not with the man, but his hobby of traveling and making friends. It isn't about love, or the person's character, instead it is about his social prowess and the "experiences" he can enhance her life with. Little does she know that men like this are often flighty, cheaters, disloyal, and simply cannot be depended on for a monogamous relationship. But that will not stop the American female from fawning over and idolizing the man. It isn't really about having a companion to travel with; no, the woman wishes to live vicariously through the man.

Thursday, May 2, 2013

Would Obama Have Been President Without a White Mother?



The political rise of Barack Obama is quite astonishing for any individual. Born into humble beginnings, Obama grew up in Hawaii, attended an elite private school, and was reared by a white woman pursuing a PhD. Ann Dunham is pictured above with her son Barack.

Which brings me to the crux of the issue; that is to say, Obama could not have become president if he was raised by a black woman. No black woman could have produced what this man has become, and it has to do as much with race as it does culture.

To become what Obama did, his upbringing had to have come from a white household. Because in the mind of a white female, race is a non-issue for the most part and where it materializes, it can be ignored and overcome for a colored minority. Barack’s mother of course was well aware of her son’s appearance, coupled with the fact that he would be seen as black in society. But there is a distinct difference between how this single white mother dealt with this reality and how a single black mother would. Had Barack been raised by a single black woman, assuming she was not a ghetto hood-rat, his mentality would have been significantly limited in its ability to grasp the “big picture” of life. And this is precisely because the black point of view is severely limited, while whites know no such boundaries.

To further the point through scenario, take the inevitable “race” conversation that Obama’s hypothetical black mother would have with her mixed-race son. She would of course encourage him to do well in school, and push him to succeed (Again, this is assuming that this mother is at least somewhat educated). However, detrimental seeds of doubt would penetrate young Barack’s mind when his mother brings his race into the conversation. She would first remind him that despite his mixed heritage, he will be seen as black in society, and he will be discriminated against, and he must always keep a watchful eye out for racism directed towards him. She would poison his mind with limited thinking, based on the standards of the past.

The difference is, Barack’s white mother would, by and large, allow him to come to these conclusions on his own. But she would not promote to him the self-defeated attitude of African Americans, for she can neither relate or truly understand what a racial limitation is, due to her white privilege.

Perhaps the largest divider between colored minorities and whites in America is how they perceive race and racism. A situation in which a white individual might find no wrongdoing, or no oppression, can be perceived in the opposite way for a black person. And in many cases the subtle racism or oppression is real, but can only be observed through the lens of a colored minority. Whites, knowing where they lie in the invisible but very real racial hierarchy, do not have need for such worries. Thus, for the most part, whites are content with ignorance in this context; however, it is just as important to acknowledge that ignorance is indeed bliss.

Furthermore, whites understand society through no particular racial scope. Thus, laying the foundation for privilege, because there are no limits in this world for the descendants of European conquerors. Conversely, blacks profoundly understand their race to be crippling; no matter how far they ascend, no matter what they achieve, always will they be the negro. To the Arab, "Abid", to most of the world, "Nigger", the constant reminder of inferiority is ever-upon the blacks, especially the American Blacks, who in addition to being inferior are seen as lower than any other black diaspora in the world. Why is this the case? To be precise, culture. No one respects the American Black, even African nationals from countries such as Nigeria, Ghana, Sudan, or Ethiopia. Blacks from Spanish speaking countries share the same venom for American blacks, as do blacks from Middle Eastern countries. The obvious difference between all of these groups and American blacks is culture; everyone seems to have one except for the African American. Is it true? In parting, listen to the words of an Ethiopian, who is black but not American: